Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I touched a dick in church today
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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