Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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