I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
