your room smells of hookers.
And success
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
