Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize