Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
