he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
