I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
My vagina just recognized that song.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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