Your mouth is God's brothel.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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