This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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