Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
