I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Randomize
