Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I think my fart just growled at me.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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