her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
