i can't believe i had my finger in that
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
