Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
