why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
