if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
