yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Ladies don't puke and tell
Randomize
