remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
