he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize