So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
