So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
