YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
