Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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