she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
