My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
