But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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