school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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