Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
