If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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