ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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