it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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