I am full of burrito and curiosity
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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