Duck Duck Cougar?
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i dont even know how to be here
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
