he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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