If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
