actually, I'm a sock model
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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