i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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