How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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