Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
