She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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