Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
