You're completely useless in the revolution.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
