If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
