yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
