Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
