peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
why is half of my head shaved?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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