This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize