and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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