She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
