The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
