why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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