Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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