At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
So squirting runs in the family.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
