We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Actions speak louder than pants.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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