at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I'm gonna have a badass scar
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
