whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize
