If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
