I want to stick my p in your. b.
we made out on top of his cat.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
