was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
