i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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