yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I came so hard my ears popped.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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