Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
