where does the pee come out of this thing
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
