she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize